What You Say Matters
Understanding every thought and feeling your child has is not a realistic goal. HOWEVER there is evidence that shows our responses to our child's behavior matters... ALOT.
From the book, The Whole-Brain Child, authors Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. share real scenarios between adult and child, such as tantrums, difficult separation, outbursts, disagreements etc, in which careful response from the adult can model and shape outcomes for the child's mental wellness and overall character development.
Some great pulls from this book include:
"Children whose parents talk with them about their experiences tend to have better access to the memories of those experiences."
"Parents who speak with their children about their feelings have children who develop emotional intelligence and can understand their own and other peoples feelings more fully."
Learning a bit about how your child's brain is developing and what is developmentally appropriate to expect from them is an important step to deciding how you will plan to parent at each age.